Class Act

Oh, frabjous day! The internet connection is properly fixed now. Turns out E.'s pal really did know his stuff.

Having my Mac back enabled me to receive an e-mail from an old and dear friend. Now, I love this friend. She did me the most enormous favour some years ago, and she did it with such unselfishness and generousity that she is in my good books forever. I would never hear a bad word said against her.

But I have to confess my heart sank just a little bit when she wrote "I know how you're feeling. We tried for a year, and gave up and got a cat. And then I got pregnant."

Sigh.

In other news, a woman at work, who used to be my boss, and whom I have the utmost respect for, came round to my veal crate- I mean, cubicle today.

About a month ago I had confessed to her that we were trying, unsuccessfully, and that it was beginning to cause some pain. At the time she got a funny look on her face, but I thought that was because she herself had had some difficulties in that department. She had never gone into detail, but she was pushing forty, and when you mentioned kids she got that sort of strained smile you see on women who have struggled with infertility and loss.

She took me into a private corner, and told me she was pregnant. I had this weird overwhelming urge to hug her and cry at the same time. I did neither. I listened as she told me about how it was going, and how the hospital staff were crap, and how her parents were so excited. We talked about how she is the second person from her department this year to get pregnant, and how the office would cope with her being away on maternity leave.

Then she said to me: "I came to tell you, because I wanted you to hear it from me. And I want to tell you this...don't give up."

Later I thought, what a class act she is. She didn't wait for me to hear it on the office grapevine, cause she'd been there before herself, and she knew it was going to give me a pang. She was upfront about it, and she didn't spin me some bullshit about "just relaxing". She told me what I most need to hear right now- that there is hope and that it will happen for me. I don't even care if it turns out not to be true- the encouragement was a balm to my nervous, gnawing, fraying spirit.

For me, the way she dealt with it is going to help me get on with being happy for her, instead of feeling like somebody else has been picked for the team ahead of me.

And contemplating whether we should give up and get a cat.