Rhyming Slang

It dawned on me as I was trudging reluctantly toward another day at work with my sore throat that what the world of infertility really needs is.....Cockney rhyming slang.

For those of you who are unfamilar with rhyming slang, (or haven't seen Guy Ritchie films like Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels) it is said to have orginate in London's East End in the mid-19th century. Cockney rhyming slang uses substitute words, usually two, as a coded alternative for another word. The final word of the substitute phrase rhymes with the word it replaces. So for example- the cockney rhyming slang for the word 'stairs' is "apples and pears." Drunk would be "elephant's trunk"

As in, I fell down the apples and pears when I was elephant's.

Cockney rhyming slang then developed as a secret language of the London underworld from the 1850's, when villains used the coded speech to confuse police and eavesdroppers.

So, my thinking is that it's ideal for communications for all things infertility. This way, I can send e-mail from work about E.'s SA results and no one, except for others in the Infertile Rhyming Slang know will understand what I am talking about.

For example, instead of "luteal phase", I will say, "I have a really short Rutherford B. Hayes!".

I'm not firing on all cylinders this week, so thus far, all I have come up with are the following:

* infertile- snapping turtle
* ovulate- starting gate- (or alternatively, guess the date)
* babymaking sex- tyrannosauraus rex.
* pregnancy test- hope laid to rest (or alternatively, pee obsessed)
* ultrasound- theater in the round
* semen analysis- flaccid paralysis

Well... it's a start.

Infertility Rhyming slang- hours of fun for the whole non-family! Anybody care to join in?