Tuesday, June 29, 2004

The form

It's been three weeks since my GP said she would refer E. and I to the infertility clinic, and yesterday, voila, a form arrived in the mail.

I have to say, as a first impression of the people who may very well be helping us with our apparent inability to become pregnant, this form does not exactly fill me with confidence. First of all, it says that we must fill out the questionnaire, and send it back within two weeks, or they will assume we don't want the appointment. Gah! Given my pathlogical inability to buy envelopes and stamps, it may be a challenge for me to meet that deadline.

Secondly, the layout of the form itself is irritating. I'm with Tertia, forms should give you an appropriate amount of space on each line for the required information. This one is ridiculous. There is this huuuuge long line for my age (two digits, doesn't take up much space) whereas the line for my doctor's address is indented into the middle of the page, thus leaving even less room for all the detail.

Spacing concerns aside, some of questions seem a little odd. E. and I puzzled over certain items together as I read out the questions to him over the phone.

"Have you been married before, and if so, from when to when? "

"They didn't ask us that, surely?" E. said.

"They did! They ask it right here! For both of us. They also ask if we are married to each other," I told him.

"I'm not answering the first one," E. said.

"No, you have to. You have to answer all the questions, or they won't treat us!"

"But what difference does it make if I was married before?"

"I guess they want to know if you had any children with your previous wife. Sorry, your only wife. Since we are not married, you can't have a previous wife- that would imply you had a wife now. And I'm not your wife, now, am I? No, I am not. "

"Shut up. You're rambling. If they want to know whether I have any children, and with whom, then why don't they just ask that?"

"They ask that as well."

"Oh for God's sake. Just say no. To everything. No wife, no children, no previous treatment. Sperm of dubious quality. Intentions and willingness to procreate with you= v. good."

"But there's no question on the form about your intentions."

"That's what margins are for, my sweet."

I guess we have two weeks to argue about it.

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