Negative population growth

A few weeks ago, E. and I went out to one of those big DIY superstores. We needed an obscure piece of cable or wire in order to further be-gadget our living room. Rather than drive around to every crappy wee hardware store in town, we thought we'd cut to the chase and supersize it.

The store was massive. And it was deserted.

Apart from the aisle where said obscure wirethingummy was located. Apart from the space directly in front of obscure wire. Where six or seven people stood, jostling to inspect every single one of the items on the shelf, and in so doing blocked our access to our intended purchase. So we loitered around in the paint department for a few minutes, waiting for the crowd to clear. Came back 10 minutes later to find a new set of six or seven people had now parked themselves in the same spot.

Given the propensity for somebody to be in my way everywhere I go, I sometimes find it hard to give credence to the almost daily reports of Scotland's population crisis. This country is obsessed with population statistics. It's up! It's down! It's worseningby the day. Or not.

Whether or not the population is in fact slowly ebbing away, there does seem to be a consensus that there is a problem with fertility. According to the Registrar General (the people you tell about births and deaths, respectively) in 2002, Scottish fertility reached a historic low. I don't think it has gotten much better since then.

The causes would appear to be complex. Everything from the biological (decline in semen quality) to social (women having careers and not babies). And the solution- well, having looked at the various pronatalist strategies in other countries such as Singapore and Sweden- the solution is apparently not straightfoward.

The government is currently focused on dealing with the problem by attracting immigrants. To that end there is talk of gaining some control over things like immigration policy, which at this time remains firmly under the iron grip of the Home Secretary. For those of you not versed in the finer points of the devolution settlement, that means that the UK Parliament can tell Scotland what to do about immigration, and we have to go along with it. Viva la pseduo-independence.

Now. Having more immigrants is all well and good, except the Scottish government is rather preoccupied with getting "the right sort of people." That basically means they want "more skilled people from other countries to resettle here" as part of the Fresh Talent initiative (whatever that is. No Stale Talent required, thanks).

What they don't really say out loud is that what they think Scotland wants is more skilled white people. As long as they are not English. Or possibly German. And even if the government don't say it, that is precisely what your average bigot in Auchertfacthermachauter (or Glasgow) thinks. I don't want to make a generalisation, and there have been some strides in the right direction, but I do notice a degree of unacceptable prejudice and bigotry in Britain as a whole. That, if nothing else, is going to hinder immigrants wanting to come here, or wanting to stay. And that's before they discover the rotten weather, appalling public transport, and weird tendency to deep fry everything (i.e pizza, or Snickers bars).

It seems to me that in addition to luring immigrants here, a solution to the Population! Crisis! might be to improve access to and availability fertility treatment in Scotland. Reduce waiting lists. Make treatment cheaper, or better yet, free in certain circumstances. Increase awareness as to fertility issues. I'm not even talking about reproductive incentives for all women in this country (like decent, open maternity wards). I'm talking about some real assistance for those of us who are desperately trying and are unable to manage it, for some reason.

But the government get all twitchy as soon as the word fertility is mentioned, not wanting to suggest that women should give up careers, not wanting to look as if we are a backward looking nation, forcing women back to being pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen for the good of Scotland. Plus if women do try to work and have familiies, nobody is clear how it is really meant to function in terms of the much ballyhooed work/life balance. At which point they start talking about immigration again.

All I know is we're having our own little population crisis right here at home. And meanwhile everywhere I go, someone stands in front of the thing I need to reach.