Monday, August 02, 2004

Prelude to a Kiss

I was reading about the recent spectacular testicular adventures over at Karen's site, and it got me thinking about the possibility of a varicocele here at the Barn. I'd heard of a varicocele, but didn't really know what one was, exactly- much less how to pronounce it. While E.'s count and motility results were excellent, the morphology was poor. And so after reading, I sprung into Google mode.

What I found in my various searches then led to me concur it was possible that this was something E. might have. As I mentioned awhile ago, E. suffered some trauma about a decade ago during a sporting event. A firm blow to the nuts by one of the opposing thugs, I mean, team members. He's loathe to discuss what went on in the aftermath, but I am given to understand it involved some pretty hideous "probes". Since he won't talk about it, I have had no choice but to subpoena his medical records, but I haven't yet gotten them.

According to Google School of Medicine, I was right in thinking that trauma of this type could, apparently, lead to a varicocele, and that could in turn potentially cause infertility. What if, what if, what if.

Then I read that one symptom is that when the man is standing up, the testicle in question has a feeling like "a bag of worms."

Scene: Summer. Evening. Barn living room. E. and I both in our jammies, watching telly.

Mare: Hon, could you stand up for a minute?

E: Why?

Mare: I'll tell you in a minute. On your feet, soldier.

E. obligingly stood. I shoved my hand down his pajama bottoms and had a rummage.

E: (in startled tones) What exactly are you doing?

Mare: Nope, no worms there.

Cue long explanation.

We're not going to rule out the possibility that there still might be something there, since quite often, according to Google, there are no symptoms. It could have happened independent of any trauma. I couldn't find anything resembling a bag of worms, so who knows....

E. and I were already planning on a further SA for him, and depending on those results, further consultation with specialists. I expect we'll ask some questions about varicoceles while we're at it. And if nothing else, I have discovered a new excuse for foreplay- huzzah!


At 6:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're brilliantly funny.
And, by the way, how DO you pronounce varicocele?

At 9:25 PM, Blogger amanda said...

My husband has a varicocele. Not that it matters, because he has azoospermia (zero sperm count) so we have to do IVF anyway. Your husband's urologist should be able to see and/or feel it if he's got one big enought to effect anything. Good luck.

At 11:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And in the meantime, fondle all you want : )


At 11:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And in the meantime, fondle all you want : )


At 2:25 PM, Blogger la gringa said...

My husband was just diagnosed with a variocele. He's got azoopermia, but the urologist still thinks that surgery might do the trick. Though it'd be a 6-9 month wait to see if it works and I'm a tad impatient, so most likely we'll go the IVF route.

la gringa

At 4:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You crack me up....So many of us graduates of Google U out here in the world--maybe we should go into practice together? --Brooklyn Girl

At 4:58 PM, Blogger E. said...

"Bag of worms" - bwah! You've inspired me (much to my husband's soon-to-be dismay).


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