When they say "two days to two weeks", what they really mean is two weeks.

For someone who has routinely, almost compulsively, taken the less easy route to things in life, I am not a patient person. It's an uneasy mix. I deliberately make things difficult for myself in all manner of ways, and then bitch about the fact that it's not happening in the way I want. Which is now, now, now.

*Tap, tap, tapping* of nails on the desk.

While I find it hard to wait on my own body to do its thing i.e. produce cervical goo, ovulate, welcome E's ambitious sperm with eager fertilising joy- I find it harder to wait on the actions of other people. People at whose mercy I find myself. People who I perceive, rightly or wrongly, as somewhat insensitive and possibly even incompetent.

Take E.'s SA.. Aside from the whole fandango of getting the jar of sea monkeys handed in double quick (no place to park at the hospital, no way through the door to the lab, for which you needed a SECURITY pass), the tests results are now taking forever. Now, realistically, they did say it would take two days to two weeks. And to be fair, strictly speaking, the two weeks aren't up until Thursday. So poor E., bless him, doesn't feel as though we should really start nagging until Friday. "We're British, after all, we do that stiff upper lip crap soooo well".

I on the other hand want to reach through the phone and/or the hospital doors and throttle someone. For the LOVE of GOD, we're trying to find out if we are potentially INFERTILE here, for fuck's sake. There is possibly a lot on the line. Our dreams of parenthood, my lovely E's manly ego, the planning of the next line of attack if it does come back OK and the problem lies with me.

Is it really too much to ask that they get on with it? I might be less frustrated if the guy with whom the sample was left had shown the slightest interest or inclination to give some form of response that he might deal with it in a reasonable amount of time. That he might actually process it, instead of leaving it on the tray in the lab to get all...inaccurate. Do they have any idea how nervewracking this is, how sweat inducing, how infuriating it is to know it COULD have taken two days, but they are going to make us wait two whole weeks.

On second thought, perhaps that's why a security pass is required to get into the lab.