Wednesday, May 12, 2004

You have to start somewhere

It was really only a matter of time until I created my own blog. I've long been a lurker elsewhere, living vicariously through others as I fumbled through my life story up til now. Moved to a different county. Married. Divorced. Putting self through university (again) while scraping by on the crumbs of wages from a part-time job. Falling in love with someone unsuitable, falling out of love, falling in love with the right person this time.

And then wanting to have a baby....this is where I begin to feel like I finally need to take myself out of myself, and tell some of what is happening to me. It's not all that I do, but it's a lot of what I think about at the moment. There are a lot of us out there, watching, waiting, wanting, as I have discovered- and it can be lonely.

The title of this blog "Barren Mare" was the result of one of those mindless roving websearches for information on fertility. It's actually on a website to do with breeding horses. I was about to move on when a quote caught my eye.

"Unfortunately Mother Nature sometimes has other ideas. One of the most persistant and frustrating situations a breeder can face is a mare which, mysteriously, refuses to "catch". A season or more of this labels her a barren mare. Getting to the root of the fertility problem can feel like blundering around in a cave ( Ed's note: How Freudian!) without a flashlight."

It's been 11 months. I have refused to "catch". Label me....a barren mare?

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